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Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Wellness Journal | Painful Storm

I'm documenting everything on a more regular basis so that I can keep up with my progress and so that I can show this to my doctors. I may not do this every day, but I'm going to do it as often as I can. So, here goes another Guinea Pig experiment!

July 23, 2014

Pain Level: 6 out of 10
What I did today: went to Summer Fun Water Park in Belton, TX with Bill and the girls. Lexi is 10 and Mira is 7.
Symptoms: Dizziness is better than yesterday. Yesterday I barely moved and I was dizzy and felt faint. I fell twice. Pain in left and right arm. Can't lift much in either arm.
Marijuana consumption: smoked 1 bong morning, 1 bong noon and 1 bong night.
Private life: Bill is going to ask me to marry him! We are moving to Colorado and we've started announcing it already. We're making plans to move to CO on March 1. We will be married before we move. Susan and Mira don't know yet. We are waiting to make the announcement until after Bill talks to Sue.

July 23, 2014

Pain Level: 8 out of 10
What I did today: Drove to Austin today for Mira's eye doctor appointment at 9:15a. Drove to kipp for back to school registration. Drove home at 4:15. While driving I almost knodded off as I got to Florence, 40 minutes into my trip. I swerved and jerked the car straighter. I gasped and sobbed, but quickly shook it off.
Private life: I announced on fb today that we're moving to Colorado. It makes me sad that I have to leave my girls, but it's not for forever.
Symptoms: Severe cramping in left arm and hand. I kept it tight to my body today in the hour long drives and around Daryl and strangers. Now it's difficult to get it to stop moving, but my hand stays in the position of Pics 7.23.14. Hard to concentrate. Tired. consumption: smoked 1 bong morning, 2 pinch hitter 11:00am, 2 pinch hitter 4:10pm, 4 bongs between 5-7:30p.
Mental: I'm trying to stay positive and remember that I need to live in the moment with the intent that Colorado is my goal. Bill is my future, but I won't have a future if I don't go to CO for cannabis oil.

I worried that I couldn't self diagnose myself, but I have nothing to fear. I'm going to keep my appointment with dr. Varga to let her know my concerns. My concerns ARE valid and so are my thoughts.

Then I remembered that I'm not in control and hurrying my life along is not natural. It needs to evolve naturally. 

July 26, 2014

Pain Level: 6 out of 10
What I did the past three days: I was in SEVERE PAIN and I was baked the entire time from a road trip alone to Austin. Bill and I have discussed it and we agreed that I can't make the trip alone again.
Symptoms: very tired. No motivation. Left arm, hand and shoulder in pain.

Private life: I'm starting to lose my positivity. I don't believe Bill and I are getting married and I don't believe that cannabis will cure me and I am very, very sad and pissed off as fuck that I have to move to CO and leave everything I've ever worked for AND MY CHILDREN. (See Pic 7.26.14)

Marijuana consumption: 1 bong, 3 cups of day old stem tea

Mental: see private life

July 27, 2014

July 28, 2014

July 29, 2014
Pain Level: 7 out of 10
What I did today: ate breakfast at MeƱos, hung out at home, Facebook, looked up stuff on Pinterest, more energy today so cleaned dishes and kitchen sink, counters and floor, washed my lingerie.

Symptoms: cramping in hand, wrist, and periodic spasms in left shoulder. Body seems to dance a lot more than usual, even in front of strangers. Can't lay my hand flat, wrist is arched.
Private life: 

Marijuana consumption: 3-4 bong hits throughout day. Very lite consumption for me. Did a few vape hits, too.

Mental: I'm very emotional still and I'm being negative toward myself. It seems like I'm punishing myself for something....but I'm unaware of what that is...

1 comment:

  1. I am here with you on your journey. Thank you for sharing your bravery and strength with such dignity. <3
    Much love to you always...



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