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Friday, July 19, 2013

Journal | One Voice

May 24, 2013 at 9:19am
Prelude: My story is not unusual, but here it is. 

Over the last decade I have been consistently ill. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes twice, diabetes, hypothyroidism, liver disease and kidney stones. This year I had a hysterectomy because of an illness. Recently, I have been diagnosed with a brain disorder that causes unexplained movement in my left hand.
I believe that our toxic food has contaminated my body. Lately I've been diligent about looking at the labels and making sure that NO GMOs enter my system. That's a hard thing to do if you're not educated, so I became educated and I'm telling everyone I know. I'm looking into detoxification by natural herbs.

I will win this war against Monsanto. It's down to you either get rid of GMOs or you die. Period.

I was just waiting to die. I went to see all my doctors like a good little patient. I took the medicines that they prescribed dutifully. I listened to their advice...

Hope had left me like my last breath had already been breathed.

And then Obama and my world crashed together like a mighty thunderstorm. I woke up screaming. I lay dormant no longer.

As an atheist I have no god to fall back on. My faith is in those I love. My faith is in the blue or gray sky above me and the smell of the earth. My faith is in the eyes of my children. I no longer saw my inner faith shining.

But that day...that day that I learned that the president, that I did have faith in, had betrayed my trust...that was the day that I woke up screaming and I lay dormant no longer.

The good, dutiful and obedient victim that I once was--was replaced with a need to scream, a need to do something--ANYTHING--that would set my soul on fire.

I have been living with pain for so long that I struggled to put one foot in front of the other, but my heart burned with the desire to make some sort of change.

Once the fountain of knowledge flooded my senses I couldn't stop my inner voice. It was screaming for something...I didn't yet know what it was, but I knew that my destiny was calling me like no other passion had sizzled through my bones and my brain better than electric shock therapy.

I felt a need to seek solace in a community of like minded individuals. I sought a group where I could make my voice boom.

My resolve began to quake and my voice started cracking and faltering. I shared my heartbreak with friends unlike any other time in my life. I found a quiet voice in my ear reminding me that I had one voice and that was all I needed. One voice carries even if its not screaming...

The light was back and it filled my soul until it was bursting. What I had been seeking this entire time was not medication in pill form, but the kind that heals from within. My heart began to sing a joyful song that I had long since feared was dead.

I was awake, no longer screaming. Tears stroked my cheeks like my grandmother did when I was little. The world, this wondrous world, was now blazing open. It was open for me and it opened just by the sound of my own voice.

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