Doctor Notes | Eastern Medicine Kind of Girl

To prepare for my appointment with Dr. Georgette Varga, a movement specialist and neurologist in Austin, Texas, I wrote the following note and emailed it to her a couple of days ahead of my appointment.

Current Symptoms

Memory problems
 Weakness in both arms, L worse concentration
 Afraid of falling
 Anxiety
 Dizzy spells: happen when sitting/standing up
 Weight change: lost 20 pounds since November
 Vision changes
 Fatigue
Incontinence
 Pain level consistently between six and eight out of 10
Leg movements when going to sleep: slow movement has been happening since birth
Rocking since birth
Tremors
 Chronic Constipation
 Cramping in left and right arms, both shoulders and neck
Pain in left arm/chest
Feel like difficult to stop, difficult to start. Ex: projects

Things to Note:
Grandfather was a Korean vet who had diabetes, heart attacks, strokes, prostate cancer and Alzheimer's.
Father died of mass tumor in his body that caused surgeons to remove pancreas and part of his stomach. Died of septic shock and stroke.
 I was born in North Dakota where the Parkinson's test rate is higher than that of the rest of the country. 2, 4– D was sprayed on the field near the Minot Air Force Base where I was born.
 I've had symptoms since 2009. I've been off antipsychotics since 2011.
I am still progressing.

Research I'm sharing:
North Dakota Parkinson’s Death Rate :http://www.worldlifeexpectancy.com/usa/north-dakota-parkinsons-diseaseNorth Dakota County Map: http://www.ezilon.com/maps/images/usa/north-dakota-county-map.gifNutrients, Suspended Sediment, and Pesticides in Water of of the Red River of the North Basin, Minnesota and North Dakota, 1990-2004: http://pubs.usgs.gov/sir/2007/5065/Center for Food Safety’s Parkinson’s Disease and 2, 4-D: A Summary of the Evidence, May 2013-14: http://dow-watch.org/cms/assets/uploads/2014/01/24-D-and-Parkinsons-Disease-Summary-FINAL1.pdfPesticides Trigger Parkinson’s Disease: http://www.beyondpesticides.org/gateway/health%20effects/parkinson's%20cited.pdf
Agent Orange Use During the Vietnam War: http://covvha.net/vietnam-war-agent-orange/Veterans Exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam & Korea: http://www.benefits.va.gov/compensation/claims-postservice-agent_orange.asp
Veterans’ Diseases Associated with Agent Orange: http://www.publichealth.va.gov/PUBLICHEALTH/exposures/agentorange/conditions/index.aspSymptom-relieving and neuroprotective effects of the phytocannabinoid THCV in animal models of Parkinson’s Disease: http://www.publichealth.va.gov/PUBLICHEALTH/exposures/agentorange/conditions/index.asp

We ran late to the appointment. It was not my intention to be late, but the universe had other plans. I'm trying to go with the flow, but I raced up the walk way because I hate to be late. 

That morning as I was dressing I had to remember that I was dressing not just for my doctor's appointment, but for a day in Austin which included dinner with friends later. I gazed lovingly at my heels and I felt disappointment because I knew that with my dizzy and falling spells that I should not be wearing heels. I expressed my woe to my spouse and he told me that he would be next to me at all times, not to worry. I smiled at him, delighted he understood. Giving up my heels would be a last ditch effort. I wasn't giving up just yet!

It was my high wedges that the doctor's assistant remarked upon when he saw me. I smiled, said nothing. Then the doctor came in. She asked me how I was doing and I blurted out that I was progressing. It had gotten worse. 

She asked about my arm and if I had changed my mind into having carpal tunnel surgery. I said nothing as she rambled on about how I could lose the use of my arm. 

I piped up in anger, "What difference does it make if it ruins the right arm? We have to know the cause. We can't just go and do more damage to the body by doing surgery."

She pursed her lips. I could see that I was frustrating her. I had become a belligerent patient. Oh my. Was I in for it!

She would not look at my research and insisted that I did not have Parkinson's. She wouldn't examine me either to notice my progression. I persisted in telling her what I had learned in my research about pesticides and Parkinson's. I held up my hand to get her to listen to me when she tried to bowl me over. I told her that my estranged sister had just contacted me and told me that she has the very same symptoms. The very same. From the cramping and tremors, to the storms, and to the severe cognitive dysfunction when it came to memory.

She responded that I don't have tardive dyskinesia and I don't have Parkinson's. When I persisted in asking her what I did have, she responded, "You should get a second opinion. I don't know."

Aha! We got to the root of the problem, didn't we? She doesn't know. No doctor knows. There are too many diseases that are unknown. Until medical science has advanced enough to readily be able to diagnose what I have I will kindly stay away from all western medicine. I'm an eastern medicine kind of girl, I guess.

Research | Cannabis Oil for Neurological Disorders

What is Cannabis Oil?

My quest for answers about my neurological disorder led me to cannabis oil. As many of you may or may not know, I'm an activist for marijuana reform in Texas. It's been a passion of mine for a little while now. I became a believer when I sought something more natural to help me with pain. I've been smoking it for the past year for medicinal purposes. It's amazing for pain relief and I don't feel as unhealthy as I did while I on Vicodin.

While doing research on Parkinson's, I came across cannabis medical studies on a regular basis. These studies are about patients not only smoking it, but ingesting cannabis oil. The entire marijuana plant, using alcohol as a solvent, is cooked down into a thick resinous oil. When ingested in this manner marijuana becomes a formidable and powerful medicine. Two good videos to watch are Run From The Cure and Weed.

Run From The Cure has a bunch of important patient testimonials and it explains what the oil is and how it is made. It's important to understand this so that you can understand how it heals the body.

Weed is Dr. Sanjay Gupta's explanation of why he changed his mind about medical marijuana.

According to many studies cannabis oil can prevent further degeneration of brain cells in Parkinson's. The research does not say that it cures the disorder, but it does say that it slows it down and that's pretty wonderful news when one is facing a death sentence. Let's be frank about it. Parkinson's is a death sentence. It's a slow deterioration of the body and the mind until the soul is merely trapped at the end gasping for escape. It's not a way any of us would wish to die. So, when there are alternatives that are surfacing that are showing promising results, then one must look at all alternatives.

I have been a smoker all but five years of my nineteen year smoking life. I began smoking at age 21. I was curious about it's relaxing qualities. It helped me a ton during stressful times in my life. I smoked it a lot when I was misdiagnosed with bipolar and it was very helpful. I stopped smoking it because I started listening to my critics about what a horrible mother I was for smoking marijuana. I didn't understand at the time that cannabis has many medicinal qualities. I was still hearing the old programming and myth that marijuana is an evil drug. What people should've been saying all along is, "Marijuana has been used by people for centuries and it's a wonderful, natural alternative to pharmaceuticals."

I am not fond of pharmaceuticals. I think they're pure poison. They are wrapped up in a wholesome package, and they are far from natural. They cause more disease and I refuse to put any more chemicals into my body. I may not know what I have, but I do know that whatever I have I got from a chemical toxin.

So, I received my cannabis oil on August 15, 2014. I've been documenting it so that I can share my progress with you. I can't deny that the progress is pretty interesting and certainly contains a wow factor...

Follow my personal short term cannabis study!

Research | What is Parkinson's Disease?

I have many questions...

1. Early signs of Parkinson disease included smaller handwriting, a soft voice, reduced facial expression, slowness of movement, tremor, and changes in walking (shuffling) and posture (stooping). Not all Parkinson's patients have all of these symptoms. To be diagnosed with Parkinson disease, a person needs to exhibit at least two of the four "cardinal" symptoms, which are tremor, bradykinesia (slowed movement), rigidity, and postural instability. In order to be diagnosed you must have bradykinesia.

• Tremor: shaking of a hand, arm, foot, leg, chin or lips. In Parkinson disease this happens while the limb is at rest, but sometimes happens also with movement.
• Bradykinesia: Unusually slow movement of the limbs or entire body.
• Rigidity: Stiffness of the muscles in the hand, arm, foot, leg or the trunk and neck. People may experience righty as muslce tightness, but they may also experience it as painful, cramp like sensation in the muscles or as muscle spasms. Sometimes an achy, died feeling may be the only indication of rigidity, and often, in the earliest stages, rigidity may be misdiagnosed as having a pinched nerve in their neck or lower back. 
• Postural Instability: Wobbly or unbalanced standing or walking. *People living with Parkinson disease sometimes fall as a result of orthostatic hypotension (also called postural hypotension). This medical term means that on arising, a person's blood pressure drops precipitously. Parkinson disease affects the autonomic nervous system, which is the party of the nervous system hat controls functions of our body that are not under voluntary control, such as stomach and intestinal motility, beating of the heart and production of sweat and saliva. The autonomic nervous system is also in charge of making sure our blood pressure remains stable when we stand up from a reclining or sitting position.

This list of four symptoms does not by any means describe the whole spectrum of motor symptoms of Parkinson disease. Many patients may have other motor symptoms not explained by these such as dystonia or dyskinesia, which are erratic, involuntary movements of the arm, leg, trunk or face muscles. 

patient note: I do notice that I have slower movement in my left hand and when pinching my fingers together the movement becomes slower over time. I also believe I have rigidity.

2. What is Parkinson's? Parkinson's is a neurodegnerative disorder that causes the dopamine producing neurons of the substantial nigra to die prematurely and the result is loss of smooth, full-range motion.

3. Patient Note: Am I going to have dementia? I'm suffering from memory loss and trouble continuing my thought process... which is the cognitive function called executive function of the brain that includes the ability to make decisions, solve problems and multitask. A big part of the executive function is working more and loses the ability to maintain important information in the brain while engaged in complex tasks.

For example, a healthy person is usually able to cook and read a recipe at the same time. While reading the next step in a complex recipe, the cook can remember to stir the vegetables that are gently sautéing in the pan. However, a person with Parkinson disease may have trouble juggling two tasks because of lapse in working memory.

Wellness Journal | Symptoms, Pain Levels and Photos

My hand looks relatively normal lately even though my pain level was kind of off the charts... Extremely difficult time sleeping... I'm hoping these journals will detail my progress so that patients can benefit from my experiences.

July 30, 2014

Today is Wednesday.

Pain Level:
7 out of 10 (10 = worst).

Symptoms: 

Morning: Burning in my fingers alleviated only by pressing my left middle and ring fingers into the mattress. High tone in relaxed state of left wrist. Right shoulder spasming, pain radiating down into my elbow. Cutting an onion hurts my right bicep and elbow.

Evening: it's 10:23pm. I'm settling down for the night. I find that my left hand is cramping and moving a lot. So is my shoulder. The best thing I can do to help is to put my hand under something so that the movements don't create further cramping. I'm not sure if that's even the right thing to do. Sometimes I wonder if I should just let it do it's thing and not worry so goddamned much if people will think I'm a freak.

Progression notes:
I've noticed that I don't wake up screaming in pain anymore since I broke in my IKEA pillow with dents for my neck. I don't think I've had any episodes of shooting pain and painful numbing sensation except once (after a trip an hour away in Austin) in the last 30 days. This does not mean, however, that my illness has stopped progressing. I do believe that my Illness is getting worse because my trembling is getting worse, not to mention having trouble remembering things and feeling like I'm going to faint.

Pic of left hand at 10:12am:

Pic of right hand:

What's going on in my life today: 

I worried half my day about the Central Texas NORML Alliance meeting today, spent way too much time on FB. More than half the shit I saw was negative. I was already feeling overwhelmed. I need to not look at it so much anymore. It's unimportant compared to my health.

Mental: 
Very scared to make a noticable mental ass of myself. I think I'm going to show my cognitive dysfunction by not being able to finish a thought, but although I found myself sost forgetting I didn't. Would it be really horrible if I did? I'm not sure. I do know that when it dies happen that I'm going to find a way to deal with it. Those that love me wouldn't fault me for it.

Happiness Level: 
I'm very happy with Bill, but I'm unhappy with the plan to move to Colorado. I'm going to miss so many moments in my girls' lives. I don't want them to think that they're not important to me. And it makes me cry every single time I think about it.

Stress Level: 
6 out of 10. (1 being no stress and 10 being the most.)

Bedtime and Sleep issues: 
I can't get my body to rest. I'm tired but too stressed to sleep. My hand is tired but won't rest either. Looks like my shoulder and neck are going to keep the hand company in Painsville tonight.

Marijuana consumption: 
Sporadic smoking. 3-4 bong hits all day. I could use more, but we're trying to conserve.

Private life and/or Sex: Bill and I are happy. No sex today bc Bill didn't feel good this morning and I woke in pain. Not screaming pain, but pain nonetheless.

Tomorrow's plans: 
Sleep and Watch Movies. Limit FB to two hours total for all day.

Notice my left hand at tonight's meeting. I'm so mortified that was caught on camera.

August 1, 2014

Today is Friday.

Pain Level: 
8.5 out of 10. 10 being the worst.

Symptoms: 
Awoke in pain. Smoked Cat Piss (a sativa) and determined it did not ease my cramping so I've decided that I'm going to stick to Indicas. I smoked a second bowl of Berry White and feel so much better even after four hours later. Dizzy spell.

Progression notes: 
Same pattern of pain starting in my left fingertips, to wrist, to elbow, to arm socket to shoulder to neck then moves to right fingertips, to wrist, to elbow, to arm socket to shoulder to neck. This process can take days before everything relaxes from the cramping. I call this a 'Storm'.

Pic of left hand: 9:10am: 

Pic of right hand: 9:10am:

What's going on in my life today:

Today I found out that cannabis oil will not regenerate my dead brain cells, but it will prevent further damage. I was upset, but worked through it. Here’s what I posted on FB about it:

"I learned some very disheartening news today in my research about Parkinson's and cannabis oil. According to what I read cannabis oil does not reverse the damage done to the brain cells. Cannabis does not cure it like it can cure cancer. It seems ludicrous to think anything can cure me at this point. I've lost my positivity and I'm not sure when I'm getting it back.

I saw a photo of me at the CENTEX NORML Alliance meeting where my hand was obviously twisted and cramped. That I no longer have control over it in public is humiliating.That I'm getting worse instead of better and my doctor has no clue how to help me because she's not allowed to officially diagnose me as Parkinson's, well...It's just more than I can bear right now. My mental health is competing with my ever existent excruciating pain.

I have all this wonderfulness going on with Bill and that is what I focus on the most. All this crap came to a head today. I know that i'm going to work through it and I know that whatever is meant to be will be. There's no way for me to know my best possible outcome. Worrying is pointless. i know all that. This information is new and it will take a bit of time for me to process it, that's all.

OH. One piece of news...I won't get any worse once I start the cannabis oil. Cannabis oil is quite expensive for those in illegal states. Sigh."
I have all this wonderfulness going on with Bill and that is what I focus on the most. All this crap came to a head today. I know that i'm going to work through it and I know that whatever is meant to be will be. There's no way for me to know my best possible outcome. Worrying is pointless. i know all that. This information is new and it will take a bit of time for me to process it, that's all. 

OH. One piece of news...I won't get any worse once I start the cannabis oil. Cannabis oil is quite expensive for those in illegal states. Sigh." 

"I do feel everyone's support and it means more than I can say. I woke up this morning with my mind set that the law if attraction, cannabis oil and a healthy diet are my prescriptions. I figure I have a good 20 years until my body gives way to disease IF that actually happens. I'm not going to spend the next twenty years of my life worrying about it. The probability of that happening is higher if I worry about it. I choose to believe that I'm not going to get any worse and I'm okay with living just the way I am right now, but I'm also going to believe that I'm going to be the first ever cure because belief, backed by love is a powerful, powerful weapon that I'm going to wield wisely."

Happiness Level: 
2 out of 10 (10 being the worst) until I heard about this news around 5pm. Then I cracked and the waterworks started flowing. I was deeply upset, unable to see the positive.

Stress Level: 
4 out of 10. (10 being worst)

Bedtime and Sleep issues:
Couldn’t sleep. I was in too much pain.

Marijuana type & consumption: 
2 bowls at 5am (cat piss and Berry white), 11:50 am: bowl of Berry White

Stress Level:
4 out of 10 (10 being worst).

Conclusion/Question: 
I should take pics before and after smoking. Like I said, the law of attraction, an organic diet and cannabis oil are my future. They are all three of the utmost importance. Until I go to Colorado I’ll have to worry about positivity and the diet.

Sat, Aug 2:
long car drive day going into Austin for Lexi's bday party at the mall. Very tired.

Sun, Aug 3:
8 out of 10 pain level.

Mon, Aug 4:
7.5 out of 10 pain level.

8 out of 10 stress level. Stress due to kids testing my limits.

August 5, 2014:

Today is Tuesday.

Pain Level: 
6 out of 10 (10 being the worst).

Symptoms: 
Pain upon waking this morning. I remember crying out in my sleep early this morning.

Pic of left hand 8:40 pm Before smoking: 

10:00 pm After smoking:

Pic of right hand 8:40 pm Before smoking: 

10 pm After smoking: 

What's going on in my life today: 
Visited with Louie Minor, Running for Congress in 31st district in Texas, and told him that I was concerned about pesticides in our food. My girls are visiting and today I made my texmex black bean burgers for dinner. Both girls and Bill loved it!

Mental: 
I've been kind of depressed this past week.

Happiness Level:
4 out of 10 (10 being the worst)

Stress Level: 
6 out of 10. (10 being worst)

Bedtime and Sleep issues: 
I had an extremely difficult time sleeping the past couple of nights.

Marijuana consumption:
Not enough today, but we just got my favorite: Blue Dream!

Private life: 
Bill is being very supportive and sweet and so are all my friends. :)

Research | Cannabis Oil Will Not Cure, But Will Help Parkinsons Disease

Today I found out that cannabis oil will not regenerate my dead brain cells, but it will prevent further damage. I was upset, but worked through it. Here’s what I posted on FB about it:

I learned some very disheartening news today in my research about Parkinson's and cannabis oil. According to what I read cannabis oil does not reverse the damage done to the brain cells. Cannabis does not cure it like it can cure cancer. It seems ludicrous to think anything can cure me at this point. I've lost my positivity and I'm not sure when I'm getting it back.  

I saw a photo of me at a NORML meeting where my hand was obviously twisted and cramped. That I no longer have control over it in public is humiliating.That I'm getting worse instead of better and my doctor has no clue how to help me because she's not allowed to officially diagnose me as Parkinson's, well...It's just more than I can bear right now. My mental health is competing with my ever existent excruciating pain.

I have all this wonderfulness going on with Bill and that is what I focus on the most. All this crap came to a head today. I know that i'm going to work through it and I know that whatever is meant to be will be. There's no way for me to know my best possible outcome. Worrying is pointless. i know all that. This information is new and it will take a bit of time for me to process it, that's all.

I'm going to take a step back from FB. I'm not going to be on here too much until next week. Tomorrow is my oldest daughter's birthday party and mine and Bill's first date anniversary is rounding the corner. That will keep me busy and focused for a bit.

OH. One piece of news...I won't get any worse once I start the cannabis oil. Cannabis oil is quite expensive for those in illegal states. Sigh. 

I do feel everyone's support and it means more than I can say. I woke up this morning with my mind set that the law if attraction, cannabis oil and a healthy diet are my prescriptions. I figure I have a good 20 years until my body gives way to disease IF that actually happens. I'm not going to spend the next twenty years of my life worrying about it. The probability of that happening is higher if I worry about it. I choose to believe that I'm not going to get any worse and I'm okay with living just the way I am right now, but I'm also going to believe that I'm going to be the first ever cure because belief, backed by love is a powerful, powerful weapon that I'm going to wield wisely.

Wellness Journal | Painful Storm

I'm documenting everything on a more regular basis so that I can keep up with my progress and so that I can show this to my doctors. I may not do this every day, but I'm going to do it as often as I can. So, here goes another Guinea Pig experiment!

July 23, 2014

Pain Level: 6 out of 10

What I did today: went to Summer Fun Water Park in Belton, TX with Bill and the girls. Lexi is 10 and Mira is 7.

Symptoms: Dizziness is better than yesterday. Yesterday I barely moved and I was dizzy and felt faint. I fell twice. Pain in left and right arm. Can't lift much in either arm.

Marijuana consumption: smoked 1 bong morning, 1 bong noon and 1 bong night.

Private life: Bill is going to ask me to marry him! We are moving to Colorado and we've started announcing it already. We're making plans to move to CO on March 1. We will be married before we move. Susan and Mira don't know yet. We are waiting to make the announcement until after Bill talks to Sue.

July 23, 2014

Pain Level: 8 out of 10

What I did today: Drove to Austin today for Mira's eye doctor appointment at 9:15a. Drove to kipp for back to school registration. Drove home at 4:15. While driving I almost knodded off as I got to Florence, 40 minutes into my trip. I swerved and jerked the car straighter. I gasped and sobbed, but quickly shook it off.

Private life: I announced on fb today that we're moving to Colorado. It makes me sad that I have to leave my girls, but it's not for forever.
Symptoms: Severe cramping in left arm and hand. I kept it tight to my body today in the hour long drives and around Daryl and strangers. Now it's difficult to get it to stop moving, but my hand stays in the position of Pics 7.23.14. Hard to concentrate. Tired. consumption: smoked 1 bong morning, 2 pinch hitter 11:00am, 2 pinch hitter 4:10pm, 4 bongs between 5-7:30p.

Mental: I'm trying to stay positive and remember that I need to live in the moment with the intent that Colorado is my goal. Bill is my future, but I won't have a future if I don't go to CO for cannabis oil.

I worried that I couldn't self diagnose myself, but I have nothing to fear. I'm going to keep my appointment with dr. Varga to let her know my concerns. My concerns ARE valid and so are my thoughts.

Then I remembered that I'm not in control and hurrying my life along is not natural. It needs to evolve naturally. 

July 26, 2014

Pain Level: 6 out of 10

What I did the past three days: I was in SEVERE PAIN and I was baked the entire time from a road trip alone to Austin. Bill and I have discussed it and we agreed that I can't make the trip alone again.

Symptoms: very tired. No motivation. Left arm, hand and shoulder in pain.

Private life: I'm starting to lose my positivity. I don't believe Bill and I are getting married and I don't believe that cannabis will cure me and I am very, very sad and pissed off as fuck that I have to move to CO and leave everything I've ever worked for AND MY CHILDREN. (See Pic 7.26.14)

Marijuana consumption: 1 bong, 3 cups of day old stem tea

Mental: see private life

July 27, 2014

July 28, 2014

July 29, 2014

Pain Level: 7 out of 10

What I did today: ate breakfast at Meños, hung out at home, Facebook, looked up stuff on Pinterest, more energy today so cleaned dishes and kitchen sink, counters and floor, washed my lingerie.

Symptoms: cramping in hand, wrist, and periodic spasms in left shoulder. Body seems to dance a lot more than usual, even in front of strangers. Can't lay my hand flat, wrist is arched.

Private life: 

Marijuana consumption: 3-4 bong hits throughout day. Very lite consumption for me. Did a few vape hits, too.

Mental: I'm very emotional still and I'm being negative toward myself. It seems like I'm punishing myself for something....but I'm unaware of what that is...

Research | Self Diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease

I remember as a Bipolar patient that I was never supposed to question my doctors. Society thinks that doctors know everything simply because they attend college for eight years. Most people think that doctors have their patient's best interests at heart and some do, but most are more concerned with the bottom dollar than the patient.

My diagnosis has evolved over the years. It's not an easy thing to be a bipolar patient and even harder to be a misdiagnosed one. The drugs that they put you on dope you up more than illegal drugs and they pollute your liver, kidneys and brain like any other. I will go so far as to venture to say that antispychotics, antidepressants, and benzos are the kind of drugs that make you crazier than you were to begin with.

But, I digress. I want to share with you my most recent findings that suggest that what I'm suffering from was caused by a combination of GMOs and pharmaceuticals. Western medicine has given me the diagnosis of Tardive Dyskinesia, but I'm discovering that Parkinson's Disease is my true diagnosis. I'm self diagnosing myself. I'm aware that many people will think I'm crazy (what's new?!), but I say that I'm crazy like a fox. I'm not being a complacent patient anymore. I'm doing the research, standing up for what I believe in and I'm sticking to it!

Over the last six months my disease has progressed tremendously. I've gone from merely having cramping and pain (rigidity) in my left hand and arm to cramping and pain in the left shoulder and neck to cramping and pain in my right hand, arm, neck and shoulder. Since October I've developed severe dizziness from standing up (I've learned to stand up slowly, but it doesn't matter) that makes me feel faint and I've fallen a few times. Since January I've noticed a steady decline in my thought process and I find myself unable to finish my thoughts that are voiced aloud in conversation.

After researching pharmaceutical options (only two drugs for Parkinson's and one is an antipsychotic. We all know how I feel about those!) I have concluded that cannabis oil is essential for the future of my health.

Here are my educated reasons for my self diagnosis of Parkinson's:

1. I was born in Minot, North Dakota in 1974. In 1970, rapeseed began to be mass-produced in that region. Interestingly enough thereare more North Dakotans that have Parkinson's than any other place in theUnited States. The common herbicide used during that time was 2, 4-D. For those not in the know, 2, 4-D was an ingredient in Agent Orange that was used in the Vietnam war. The high prevalence of the herbicide led the Center for Food Safety's report detailing how the herbicide is the reason for the greater numbers of Parkinson's in the area. Pesticides and GMOs are a leading cause of Parkinson's. I read an article that suggests that the herbicide was over everything in the Red River Basin area and babies crawling on the ground were highly susceptible to poisoning from it.

2. At every appointment my neurologist, which specializes in Parkinson’s, has questioned why my illness is progressing when typical Tardive Dyskinesia patients don’t usually progress. In fact, they are usually all better within a couple of years after taking antipsychotics. I’ve been off antipsychotics since 2011. I’ve done some research that suggests that the antipsychotics just kicked in my Parkinson’s earlier than usual.

3. My body presents the following arguments: I have a tremor, rigidity and cramping throughout my body, andorthostatic hypotension which leads to postural instability (my blood pressure gets low and I faint or fall) with dyskinesia movements (looks like my left arm is dancing, uncontrollable), and I'm beginning to experience cognitive dysfunction (I can’t finish my thoughts that are said aloud in conversation). I have three out of the four defining characteristics that are necessary to diagnose Parkinson's.

4. Unfortunately, western medicine dictates that Bradykinesia, the last characteristic, must be present to diagnose Parkinson's. Many patients who are eventually diagnosed with Parkinson's suffer from all of the symptoms for years, maybe decades  before they actually get to the slow and jerky movements. Most Parkinson's patients are diagnosed at the median age of 67.

After researching pharmaceutical options (only two drugs for Parkinson's and one is an antipsychotic. We all know how I feel about those!) I have concluded that cannabis oil is essential for the future of my health. I'm taking steps to attain the substance legally since it is not legal in the state that I live in.

I have to move to Colorado and I'm partially unhappy about my decision. I have children here and it will tear me apart to leave them, but it is my only viable hope to living a pain free life.

I have an appointment scheduled in a couple of weeks to see my specialist, Dr. Varga, but I'm unsure if she can do anything to help me. She is one of the best neurologists in Austin. She's good at being a western medical doctor, but I'm not sure if she's up to date on cannabis research and that's the kind of neurologist I need.

I may not have a medical diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease, but I know what's going on with my body. I scorn all western medicine anyway. It doesn't matter what they say. It only matters if the cannabis oil works for my symptoms and it does and that's A-FUCKING-OKAY for me!