"Be patient with yourself. Acceptance and faith are matters of daily practice. Just like with the treatment for the physical illness, overcoming the emotional impact takes time, rest, and a regimen of self-care." [Read More...]
It's 1:53 a.m. and my arm is screaming. It's been screaming since 11:00 p.m. I think I managed to sleep two hours and I think that will have to suffice. My arm is screaming. There will be no more sleep tonight.
Surprisingly, typing helps. I'm not sure why. I've tried everything else tonight. I've smoked so much marijuana. This last stuff we just got is not so good, so I have to manage my pain in other ways. I tried a hot shower. I've tried orgasms. Kava kava. I've cried hysterically. I need relief. Fingers are burning and I believe I must quit typing now.
So, I just did some more self love and I feel better. I just can't lie down. Every time I do it hurts worse. I am fully aware that I'm stressing myself out even more, so I took more Kava Kava, drinking a beer, and listening to slow jams.
I'm trying to stay grounded, but that can be difficult. I need the earth under my feet. Silly me, I ran out of running pants. Wanted a run this morning, but settled for some strengthening exercises that probably put me in this pain.
The strengthening exercises were using a 15 lb stretch rubber tube: Crunches, Arms, and Back.
Torso Track: long length and mid length.
Small ball hand exercise: one repetition.
Tonight when I was in severe pain:
I took a hot shower to help get the muscles and cramps worked out.
Had a few orgasms.
I smoked around 4 bowls of marijuana.
Took a lot of Kava Kava.
Remembered to take my Vitamin E.
Drank a beer.
Looked at Facebook.
Typed a blog post.
Fingers screaming now. Better than neck and shoulder to fingertips.
YES! I believe that relief is in sight and that's a truly beautiful thing!!