Public Service Announcement | Save Your Brain and Ditch Unnecessary Pharmaceuticals

I haven't thought about all this bipolar stuff (see my article on HealthyPlace.com) in a while. I never wanted that brand on my skin, but, looking back, I brought it on myself.

I was the one who took that online quiz that I thought was the answer to my problems. The answer to my problems was to take pills to numb the emotional pain that has always coursed through me since I was a small child.

I had a horrible childhood. I was abandoned by my mother. My parents had a bitter divorce that scarred me and my sister terribly. In the course of my lifetime I have had five stepmothers, none of which ever came close to filling my void.

So, yeah, my life wasn't perfect when I received my many mental health diagnoses, but I should NEVER have turned to "legal" drugs to numb my pain. I should've done more talk therapy. I tried therapy, but it didn't work for me because I was so fucking numb from all the pharmaceuticals that I couldn't even express or process my emotions properly. Emotions should be felt, truly felt so that you can process them emotionally, rationally and with your heart. When you're numb, you can't feel. If you can't feel, then you can't heal.

The human body is not designed to process synthetic drugs. There are not enough conclusive tests to warrant absolute trust in such a corrupt system. The US government doesn't have your back because they're busy being seduced by Big Pharma as further evidenced by the Supreme Court decision to prevent generic pharmaceutical manufacturers from being sued by the people. The amount of political corruption is unbelievable, but the deliberate poisoning of billions of people for continual profit is inexcusable. They're keeping us alive, yes, but, they continually poison us so we will continue to seek a pill to make it all better. In the mental pharmaceutical world that means BIG profits for them, not us.

So, I'm doing all I can to make my chemical consumption as little as possible. I do have to take Klonopin for my tardive dyskinesia and I have a horrible migraine health issue, but my goal is to eliminate as many chemicals as possible. I went a year and a half without any pharmaceutical drugs and my body has not yet cleansed all the chemicals out of my body. I've done a detox, made dietary changes, and I'm about to do another thorough heavy cleanse (details to follow).

Public Service Announcement | Antipsychotic Medications Gave Me Tardive Dyskinesia

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I have a brain disorder. A real brain disorder. It’s not made up. It’s called Tardive Dyskinesia and it was caused by antipsychotic medications that I was prescribed to help control my bipolar disorder. And the kicker? I don’t believe I ever had bipolar disorder. I haven’t been depressed, suicidal, manic, psychotic or anything but happy since I got off my bipolar medications. It was the best decision I ever made in my life. I just wish I had made it a little sooner.

Didn’t Realize or Recognize Signs of TD

Cristina Fender taking antipsychotic medications for bipolar disorder (left) and after stopping medications (right)

In 2009, I began having tardive dyskinesia symptoms, a serious side-effect of the antipsychotic medications I had been prescribed. My hand moved at night of it’s own accord. I thought it was stress and anxiety. I had no idea what it was. It hurt, but I ignored it.

After a year of blogging about living with bipolar (Bipolar Vida), I went to college full-time. I completely failed all my classes two semesters in a row. My doctor’s response was to put me on more bipolar medications. After failing the second semester, I declared war on all the medications that weren’t making a shred of difference to my mental health and I stopped taking them. That was in the spring of 2011.

Diagnosed with Tardive Dyskinesia

Late last year, I finally learned what was wrong with me. The hand, arm, neck, and leg movements resembled dystonia and Parkinson’s. I went to over ten doctors before one could finally point me in the right direction. Several doctors told me that I had a brain disorder, but none of them could pinpoint exactly what it was and how they could help me. I was told that it was “all in my head” by half of those doctors. I knew they just didn’t really know what it was, but just because they weren’t sure, did it mean it was okay to make me feel inadequate? I finally received a correct diagnosis of tardive dyskinesia.

Antipsychotics have caused tardive dyskinesia in over 200,000 patients in the United States. And that’s a conservative number because many patients won’t even notice it and since most only get 15 minutes during a visit to see the psychiatrist, it’s possible your doctor won’t notice it either.

I Never Thought It Would Happen To Me

Most patients suffer from tardive dyskinesia only a couple of years before it leaves their system. I’ve been suffering for four years and it’s progressing. There may come a time when I can no longer use my left hand and arm and when I will no longer be able to control and hide my TD symptoms from others.

After learning my diagnosis, I was so angry with myself. Why hadn’t I done more research on all of the side effects that were listed on those white leaflets that came with the medications? Oh, yeah, I know why. I never thought it would happen to me.

The drugs had made me so complacent that I never questioned my doctor.

Do you know what pharmaceuticals are derived from? Natural plants and toxic chemicals. Chemicals, in my opinion, that make you sicker than you ever were before you started taking them. For example, did you know that many antidepressants contain fluoride? Fluoride slowly, but surely poisons the brain and causes complacency. I was on antidepressants for most of my twenties and thirties. I can’t pinpoint that was the medication that sent me over the edge, but the possibility of being right is highly upsetting. It makes me wonder what other toxic chemicals are they putting in our mental health medications and it makes me sick to my stomach to think that most mental health patients have no idea what they’re ingesting.

Understand the Mental Health Medications You’re Taking

Before you pop another pill in your mouth, ask yourself the question, “Do I really need this?”

I do not give this advice lightly. I spent over five years on antidepressants, several different antipsychotics, lithium, Ambien, and Xanax. I was a zombie. I was a shell of the person I was before I ever was on those medications. They numbed me, yes, but they also filled me with chemicals that caused the my brain disorder.

I no longer follow a doctor’s prescription. My treatment plans have been devised from my own meticulous research. I choose how I’m to heal my body. I’m not following along blindly like a good little complacent patient anymore. The only guinea pig I want to be is my own.

(ED. NOTE: This is the author’s account of her personal experience and not medical advice. You should not stop taking medications on your own. Always consult your doctor about any medical or mental health concerns that you have.)

This blog was written by:

Cristina Fender started blogging in 2006. Her personal blog, “Raw Writing for the Real World of Bipolar Disorder”, and her blog on HealthyPlace.com, “Bipolar Vida“, won many awards, including being named “Top Patient Expert” and “Top Health Blog” by Organized Wisdom. Today, Cristina blogs at Guinea Pig about tardive dyskinesia and advocates for a more holistic approach to mental health. You can also connect with Cristina on Twitter and Facebook.

This post was originally posted on HealthyPlace.com

Treatment Plan | Turmeric

 I've been buying a different size of canning jars every month so we can get rid of the PLASTIC.
People complain that everything costs so much before they go GMO Free, but it can be cost effective if you change your eating habits like making sure you only make what you're going to eat. One way to offset the costs of organic food is to make your own holistic teas. I prefer them to pharmaceutical pills!

Every month I add another holistic med to my repertoire. This month I added the spice turmeric. I've been doing a lot research about Turmeric. Turmeric is nature's very best medicinal spice. The stuff is potent and I LOVE it.

Here's what I've found out about Turmeric...it's a godsend when you're ill with a cold, stomach problems, pain and mental health!

Recipes:

Turmeric Sore Throat Remedy+Take 1/4 tsp of organic Turmeric (no fillers) and swallow. Do not eat or drink for 20 min, repeat up to 3 x day until eased. Should only need to do it once or twice.

Turmeric Runny Nose Remedy+Take 1/2 tsp in a glass of warm water 1/2 hour before meals 2x day for 2 days. It will dry the nose. As a general tonic use as a condiment in cooking.

Turmeric Immunity Tea*This tea makes 24 oz. of tea. Drink a demi-size tea cup and save the rest to drink for the next couple of days. 
Ingredients1 tsp. Organic turmeric powder or 1/2 tsp fresh grated turmeric root+1 TB Honey
1 tsp. Organic ginger powder or 1/2 tsp. Organic fresh grated ginger
1/2 tsp. Organic cinnamon
1 tsp. Organic Echinachea
10 drops of GSE
3 drops of Sovereign Silver Colloidal Silver
24 oz. Water
Splash of Almond Milk
InstructionsPut the echinachea in a steel tea ball in a cup. Add the turmeric, honey, GSE and cinnamon. Boil water then add it to a big glass canning jar. 

Turmeric Wellness Tea*Drink this tea when you're ill with a cold. 
Ingredients 1/2 tsp Organic turmeric powder or 1/4 tsp fresh grated turmeric root+1/2 tsp Organic ginger powder or 1/4 tsp fresh grated ginger1/2 tsp Organic cinnamon1/2 Organic lemonPinch of fresh grated black peppercorns1 TB Manuka Honey1 tsp. Sovereign Silver Colloidal SilverSplash of Almond Milk
Combine all ingredients and add a cup of water to a teacup.
*Remember that if you're giving these teas to children under the age of 10 that you give them half the amount than an adult would drink.

Turmeric Diarrhea Tonic
Ingredients1 tsp. Organic Turmeric Powder or 1/2 tsp. fresh grated Organic Turmeric Root+5 oz. Warm water (warm not HOT)
Mix well and drink fast. Repeat in one hour if needed.

+For all Turmeric remedies I suggest using fresh grated turmeric if at all possible OR juice it. I buy my turmeric at Natural Grocer, a natural food store in town. I cannot find fresh turmeric root anywhere else. It works quicker than the powder.

Treatment Plan | The Secret

I've been applying positive thinking to my life every day for the past week.

I find things or instances that make me feel joy and I remember them over and over again. It makes me feel happier all the time. I don't feel like I'm waiting for the next thing to make me happy, because it's me that making myself happy on a more frequent basis. I'm not waiting. I'm experiencing it NOW. Positive thinking is what is getting me into the groove of making myself better.

Positive thinking works like a charm when you let it.

My newest experiment focuses on the Law of Attraction. Normally I wake when my fingers are on fire and I immediately think in my head how painful it is. Then I worry about how long it will take for it to feel better. Then I worry if my hand and arm will ever be normal again.

Yesterday I tried something different. I switched my thinking. I got up and smoked and ran into the hot shower. As the water was getting warm I told myself that it was already feeling better. I got into the shower and felt the hot water cascade down my neck to my elbow and to my fingers. I put a joyful smile on my face and I thought over and over in my head, "It's feeling remarkably great already!"

Some call it positive thinking. I call it the Law of Attraction.

How does it work? 

1. Envision what you want. Get a clear picture. Got it? 
2. You know that feeling you get when you are in love? There's that moment when you love someone so much that you feel extreme joy just by looking at that person. Bottle that moment and use it to fill your heart with that extreme joy at this very moment. Feel it. Hold onto that feeling.
3. Now using only positive words tell the universe what you want. Tell it what you will have. Say it like you already have it. Then feel thankful for it.
4. Do this several times a day until you glow with your inner light so much that people comment on how much you're glowing on the outside. Then glow more brightly.
5. Enjoy what you've attracted and be ever more mindful of what you think.

The Secret says that it's possible to get anything that's important to you this way. If you want good health then you have to envision yourself healthy and you have to believe that you are even if you're not at this very moment. 

So, right now I'm telling the universe that I am very thankful for my health. I've attracted good health by simply believing it to be so.

And, at this moment…this very moment when I should be in hideous pain while typing…I feel great!

Wellness Journal | Treatment Plan

patient note

first day I've been able to type in five days due to extreme pain 24/7.

symptoms

left hand fingers burn and are numb at same time
elbow pain has worsened
migraine headaches continue
sensitivity to light continues
dizziness yesterday in the shower

current treatment

daily meditation
klonopin (.5mg morning and night)
marijuana as pain and anxiety control
acv
organic diet
juicing 2-3 times a week
more fermented foods in my diet

therapy needed

finger exercises
light 1 lb. weight exercises
meditative yoga

meditation twice a day

mirror exercises

diet changes needed

complete alcohol elimination
no more meat products including seafood and eggs (feta cheese will be the one thing I will not give up)
15 day detox and daily acv

Wellness Journal | Severe Pain Will Take Over If I Let It

The last five days were hell. I was in so much pain 24/7. 

I smoked a lot, but it barely touched the pain. 

Every time I lifted something with my left hand I was sure I would drop it, so by the second day I didn't bother holding much. I tested out my theory a couple of times a day…but I couldn't do anything with my hand. I couldn't…and it was hell.

Is this how I want to spend the rest of my days? Only using my left hand minorly? I can't lose the function in my arm. I just can't. I'm a writer. I need to feel of the keys under my fingertips to write. I need the noise, the pattern that the keys make as they tat, tat, tat across the screen. It fuels my writing.

When I think that I may lose that it deeply saddens me. 

It's easy to feel defeated with this disorder. I find myself crying at least once a day. It's not that I'm feeling sorry for myself. It's just that I'm so very tired of the pain. It's exhausting. I don't sleep well at night and I spend my days trying to look for distractions, or at the very least, something that will make my heart laugh. I think that's the best thing one can do when in a chronic pain situation.

Look for the good.

So, every morning I wake up next to a beautiful man. I thank the lucky stars for him. He makes me feel treasured and tortured all in the same breath. He reminds me to feel the good moments so that they can carry over into the bad. And that's a beautiful feeling. It's a beautiful feeling to feel alive even when parts of me feel dead.

Channeling that energy helps me stay positive and not get carried away to the dark side of pain. The dark will creep up on you, attack you when you least suspect it and sink it's teeth into your neck. Like a vicious dog it's intent is to tear your sanity to pieces. Your job is not to let it. 

So, I spend my days…
breathing. meditating. losing myself in music. laughing. enjoying the feel of the sun on my face. and remembering to put my feet in the grass.

Treatment Plan | Sex for Patients Lacking Dopamine

What do a tardive dyskinesia patient's low levels of dopamine mean when it comes to sex? Why is sex so beneficial to the treatment?

First we should examine again that tardive dyskinesia is a disorder that has low levels of dopamine receptors, what dopamine is, and how sex as a treatment helps tardive dyskinesia symptoms. 

What is dopamine? Dopamine is one of the chemical signals that pass information from one neuron to the next in the tiny spaces between them. When it is released from the first neuron, it floats into the space (the synapse) between the two neurons, and it bumps against receptors for it on the other side that then send a signal down the receiving neuron. That sounds very simple, but when you scale it up from a single pair of neurons to the vast networks in your brain, it quickly becomes complex. The effects of dopamine release depend on where it’s coming from, where the receiving neurons are going and what type of neurons they are, what receptors are binding the dopamine (there are five known types), and what role both the releasing and receiving neurons are playing. [source]

Dopamine receptors are typically stable, however sharp (and sometimes prolonged) increases or decreases in dopamine levels (via stimulants or antipsychotics mainly) can downregulate (reduce the numbers of) or upregulate (increase the numbers of) dopamine receptors. 

For example, dopamine plays a big role in starting movement, and the destruction of dopamine neurons in an area of the brain called the substantia nigra is what produces the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease (a sister of Tardive Dyskinesia). Dopamine also plays an important role as a hormone, inhibiting prolactin to stop the release of breast milk. Back in the mesolimbic pathway, dopamine can play a role in psychosis, and many antipsychotics for treatment of schizophrenia target dopamine. Dopamine is involved in the frontal cortex inexecutive functions like attention. In the rest of the body, dopamine is involved in nausea, in kidney function, and in heart function.

So dopamine has to do with addiction, whether to cupcakes or cocaine. It has to do with lust and love. It has to do with milk. It has to do with movement, motivation, attention, psychosis. Dopamine plays a role in all of these. But it is none of them, and we shouldn’t want it to be. Its complexity is what makes it great. It shows us what, with a single molecule, the brain can do. [Source]

After orgasm, the body increases prolactin which counteracts dopamine. Prolactin provides the body with sexual gratification after sexual acts: The hormone counteracts the effect of dopamine, which is responsible for sexual arousal. This is thought to cause the sexual refractory period. The amount of prolactin can be an indicator for the amount of sexual satisfaction and relaxation.

One study examined 12 healthy women using a positron emission tomography (PET) scanner while they were being stimulated by their partners. Brain changes were observed and compared between states of rest, sexual stimulation, faked orgasm, and actual orgasm. "Differences were reported on the brain changes associated with men and women during stimulation. However, the same changes in brain activity were observed in both sexes in which the brain regions associated with behavioral control, fear and anxiety shut down. Regarding these changes, Holstege said in an interview with The Times, "What this means is that deactivation, letting go of all fear and anxiety, might be the most important thing, even necessary, to have an orgasm." [source]

Conclusion: Sex is very important to the treatment of Tardive Dyskinesia. It helps by shutting down the dopamine receptors and increasing the prolactin which de-stresses the body thereby helping with symptom control.