Today I found out that cannabis oil will not regenerate my dead brain cells, but it will prevent further damage. I was upset, but worked through it. Here’s what I posted on FB about it:
I learned some very disheartening news today in my research about Parkinson's and cannabis oil. According to what I read cannabis oil does not reverse the damage done to the brain cells. Cannabis does not cure it like it can cure cancer. It seems ludicrous to think anything can cure me at this point. I've lost my positivity and I'm not sure when I'm getting it back.
I saw a photo of me at a NORML meeting where my hand was obviously twisted and cramped. That I no longer have control over it in public is humiliating.That I'm getting worse instead of better and my doctor has no clue how to help me because she's not allowed to officially diagnose me as Parkinson's, well...It's just more than I can bear right now. My mental health is competing with my ever existent excruciating pain.
I have all this wonderfulness going on with Bill and that is what I focus on the most. All this crap came to a head today. I know that i'm going to work through it and I know that whatever is meant to be will be. There's no way for me to know my best possible outcome. Worrying is pointless. i know all that. This information is new and it will take a bit of time for me to process it, that's all.
I'm going to take a step back from FB. I'm not going to be on here too much until next week. Tomorrow is my oldest daughter's birthday party and mine and Bill's first date anniversary is rounding the corner. That will keep me busy and focused for a bit.
OH. One piece of news...I won't get any worse once I start the cannabis oil. Cannabis oil is quite expensive for those in illegal states. Sigh.
I do feel everyone's support and it means more than I can say. I woke up this morning with my mind set that the law if attraction, cannabis oil and a healthy diet are my prescriptions. I figure I have a good 20 years until my body gives way to disease IF that actually happens. I'm not going to spend the next twenty years of my life worrying about it. The probability of that happening is higher if I worry about it. I choose to believe that I'm not going to get any worse and I'm okay with living just the way I am right now, but I'm also going to believe that I'm going to be the first ever cure because belief, backed by love is a powerful, powerful weapon that I'm going to wield wisely.